Lucky #13

[Nahlidge]

She`s perfect, flawless, but she comes at a price
Your other half, lover, laughs, this once in a life
Time offer could be yours, if your budget is right
Add rush delivery, and wait only a month for ur wife!
Height, measurements, skin tone, they`re urs for the pickin`
Loud? Sentimental? Maybe you just want her to listen?
Choices are endless. Independent? Wants ur attention?
Arguments? Sexaholic? Or more of a friendship?
Design her the way you like, no need to be nervous
And if you think about it, it`s only a small fee for the service
Who needs a Mrs. Perfect? You do! Believe you deserve it!
A wife exactly the way you want her! Underneath and the surface!
Call now, and get a lifetime warranty!
Ship her back and get a replacement that`s urs for free!
Tell us what`s wrong, what to change and we`ll fix our mistakes!
Limited time offer, act now before it`s too late!


Height? 5`2 Hair color? Red Eyes? Light green
Ethnicity? White Age? Either twenty or nineteen
Cooks? And cleans Books? Cosmopolitan, The Source
Sex or Love? Both Okay and what if you 2 get a divorce?
Haha just kiddin`, Kids? Two Now or Later? No need to rush
Attitude? A little stuck up, but she needs to blush
Favorite TV Show? Simpsons Song? Freak`n You by Jodeci
Clingy or Not? Either or, I just want her to notice me
Ok sir, if you go on our website, you can choose a body type
Now just a few more questions, House wife or Party Type?
A bit of both Flexible? Yea, I want her to bend
Sexual Orientation? Huh? Do you want her to have "friends"?
Sure, two is always better than one, no men though!
Freak? Yea, anal and oral are very essential
Haha, good choice, now I just need your Visa and I.D.
And oh yea!! What about her name? Doesn`t matter, surprise me

Hey babe, how was ur day? Good, what about yours?
It was fine, is dinner ready? Honey, of course
What are you readin`? Some stupid mag that came in the mail
You look good today. Thanks, you know I take care of myself
So what`s ur agenda 2morrow? Hmm, I was thinkin` the mall
Is this position ok? Actually honey, could you lick on my balls?
I`d love to, like this? Oooooh, yea baby, that`s great
Mmmmm, honey, just promise that you`ll bust on my face

Dear MrsPerfect.com,

Just wanted to drop a line to say that I`m thankful
It may have took 13 tries, but you perfected my angel
I can`t complain anymore, things couldn`t be better
She scrubs my back, foot massages, even mails my letters
Washes my socks, cleans the house and irons my pants
Compliments my 2 left feet, even though I can`t dance
Makes me smile when I`m sad, makes me laugh when I cry
Just one question, what would she do if I happen to die?

-Happy Customer

[Nahlidge]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ws-384942.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ts-384941.html

[JackRobinSteal]

Height? 5`2 Hair color? Red Eyes? Light green
Ethnicity? White Age? Either twenty or nineteen
Cooks? And cleans Books? Cosmopolitan, The Source
Sex or Love? Both Okay and what if you 2 get a divorce?
Haha just kiddin`, Kids? Two Now or Later? No need to rush
Attitude? A little stuck up, but she needs to blush
Favorite TV Show? Simpsons Song? Freak`n You by Jodeci
Clingy or Not? Either or, I just want her to notice me
Ok sir, if you go on our website, you can choose a body type
Now just a few more questions, House wife or Party Type?
A bit of both Flexible? Yea, I want her to bend
Sexual Orientation? Huh? Do you want her to have "friends"?
Sure, two is always better than one, no men though!
Freak? Yea, anal and oral are very essential
Haha, good choice, now I just need your Visa and I.D.
And oh yea!! What about her name? Doesn`t matter, surprise me

rufkm!!!


SICK.... NUFF SAID

[Born To Kill]

Nice shit, Nah...

I liked the back and forth...the ad, the dialogue...
Very tight.
Kinda stumbled, here and there on your flow.
Seems out of place in just two parts, I believe.
But anyway...

Very nice imagery...if only shit was this easy...to get the perfect girl.
Problem is, when they arrive, they don't speak any english...
And, they usually have a "brother" or "cousin"...they want you to finance getting to the States. You do...cuz you're whipped beyond belief...cuz she's fuckin and suckin you beyond belief...but unfortunately, he turns out to actually be her husband or boyfriend from back home. They plot, kill your ass...and she inherits your shit...
Happily ever after!

Good to read something from you again...been awhile...dunno if I just have't seen you post or if I've missed shit.

Anyway.

Cool!

Peace!

[BetterDays]

This is pretty nice even if there are few lines that don't rhyme/

[Jay aka Bluntz]

A bit of both Flexible? Yea, I want her to bend
Sexual Orientation? Huh? Do you want her to have "friends"?

haha

This whole thing was Nasty. Flow was spot on, nice use of vocab, and flawless story telling. good read.

[Nahlidge]

Thanks for checkin` it out fellas. And my 2 links are there now.

[Jizz]

Nice, this shit was pretty dope man. Interesting idea never really thought about writing lyrics in that sort of perspective. Keep it up.

[Chris Black]

This was incredible and completely original. I loved it. At first I thought it was a sex doll type of thing but saw that it was more like a Stepford wife. Illness. I like that you didn't have a crazy twist that brought it back to reality or some moral to the story. I like that type of unforgiving writing. I wish there was more of that and I mean on TV, in movies, novels etc. Writers need to let loose and walk the line. Illness my dude.

[Spoken]

I Loved how everything unfolded man. the flow and shit transistion between dialogue and person nah mean.. very well written and your flow was nicely fitted. it was real and iot was straight forward no leaps or whatever and no behind hte bush shit man.. you have an idea and a way to come about with things and you placed it out there for people to read and it was great man. nice shit nahlidge and i love how you made it your verse and no comparing shit type of verse like others would have done! props my dude!

[Joseph Grey]

I agree with the shit people have told you... this was original and i loved the way you told this story. The imagery was a strong point and how u structure ur piece and make it clear for the reader using bolding and colors to indicate shit. Ur good with that style, like in "Sex and the City"... which i remember being a better piece than this, but not THAT much better... this was just really creative and i liked how u ended it and left the reader thinking deep about what this really IS about... it's hard to explain but i have an idea... i can tell u this, u have an interesting way of thinking when it comes to relationships...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ps-384743.html
^RTF, pretty please.

[Ace of Aces]

Very creative.
I haven't read much from you but this gives me a reason to do so more in the future. Everything was smooth. Did I mention that this was creative? =) But seriously, I do feel this was on a league of its own. Long but fun to read all the way through. Cool stuff that made me fantasize a bit as well. keep it up homie.

peACE

[Nahlidge]

Thanks for the feedback. Appreciated.

And lol @ the sex piece. Yea I think that was the first time I used the diff colors and shit to help carry the plot. I might be mistaken tho. And I like this one better than that piece. From my point of view anyway.

[AlphaMetric]

ok, this was sick... i love it man... the whole thing flowed alright with a bump or two.... the imagery wa on point, everything, the description on point... and love how you choose her... and lol@ 13 try's to make her perfect...cool shit... emotion was there too... loved it, continue like this

[SmokaJoka]

very original

once again, just like my previous feed...what can I say that hasn't been said? you represented well, didn't like the ending so much, but as for the rest of the story...it was quite nice...rhymescheme was cool...imagery was here and there...there's something about this that I can't quite pinpoint...it's not emotion...there wasn't much of that....ugh...I can't think of what I want to say....it's not bad, it's a compliment...maybe this piece gave a sense of realism? but in a futuristic way...odd to say...either way...good drop